‘Twelve Days After Christmas’

I had never heard of it before today, but apparently one parent is not enthused about some of the lyrics in a song called the “Twelve Days After Christmas,” which is supposed to be a spoof on the actual tune. A mother in Michigan has excused her daughter from having to sing the song in her middle school choir:

Here are some of the offending lyrics:

The first day after Christmas my true love and I had a fight,
And so I chopped the pear tree down and burned it just for spite.
Then with a single cartridge, I shot that blasted partridge,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas, I pulled on the old rubber gloves,
And very gently wrung the necks of both the turtle doves.

And a video of a high schools choir singing it:

The “very gently” part in the last sentence sounds is a bit chilling. Meh. I’ll stick with the original.